Did you ever notice how a single bad breakup can knock you right off your A-game? You can go from feeling super confident to being totally despondent in under a day bu having a bad breakup happen to you. This is particularly true if you have been blindsided by the breakup itself.
It can be daunting to try to get back on your dating game after a really bad relationship. You might feel like you’re unable to get that confidence you once had back, or you might be questioning yourself when it never used to be that way.
Feeling a bit lost? Never fear, we have five tips that will help you get back in the zone of confidence and cool.
Before you begin, make sure to take time to yourself.
There is no standard timeline for grieving a relationship. It’s okay to cry and scream, and let’s face it—most of us don’t just bounce back after a week post-breakup. Before you try to get back into dating, give yourself time to grieve.
If you have enough money to do so, check out a therapist. Or, check out an online support group for breakups. There is nothing wrong with taking time to heal. Breakups are traumatic and it’s a smart move to recognize and heal most of that trauma in you before you try again.
With all that said, let’s show you some methods to get that groove on.
Method 1: Hit up a club, or just start dancing in your bedroom.
Did you ever notice how sexy it feels to just be dancing underneath a bunch of color-changing lights? Sometimes, you just need to feel like you’re the only one on the dance floor. For centuries, people have used the art of dance as a way to reignite that spark that makes them feel sensual.
Dancing has a way of making people feel confident, even if it’s just a boogie sesh in your bedroom. Besides, moving that much can help you burn calories and also release feel-good endorphins in your body. It’s a guaranteed good time.
Method 2: Give yourself a makeover.
We all have heard of getting a “post-breakup haircut” or getting a Khloe Kardashian-style “revenge body.” And, if you’re like most people, you may have given the concept an eyeroll or two. However, this is a trope because it works, and it works well.
Don’t be afraid to upgrade yourself. It’s okay to change things up and see peoples’ reactions. More often than not, all the positive comments will help you regain your sense of confidence in a way that you never thought possible.
Method 3: Flirt with the bartender.
For a lot of people, flirting is like a muscle—you gotta use it or lose it. And at times, it can be awkward to actually get started when you haven’t actually gone out and flirted in a while. One of the easiest ways to gain more confidence is to casually flirt with someone who won’t mind—a male bartender.
Most guys are very amenable to casual flirting, and if you’re simply making cheeky remarks to a cute bartender, they’ll often return the favor with a wink and a smile. Getting that positive reinforcement can help you get back into the swing of things.
Method 4: Indulge yourself in some steamy solo sex sessions.
If you haven’t gotten laid in a while, it might be time to start paying attention to your sexual needs. Ask yourself, when was the last time you really explored your body? When was the last time that you made a point of worshipping your own body and really work on feeling yourself?
It might be time to re-introduce yourself to yourself. This can include taking a trip to the sex shop, reading some tawdry novels, or even getting a photoshoot of you in boudoir gear done. The important thing is that you’re oiling up your gears for sensuality. That’s vital if you want to get your groove on.
Method 5: Go to a nudist beach or Korean spa.
A really terrible breakup has a way of impacting the way we look at our bodies, and that’s precisely why you need to remember that it’s okay to feel comfortable in your skin. When you’ve gotten to the point that you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, exposure therapy can help.
In other words, it might be time to get naked. If you’re more adventurous, you may even want to be around naked people. Nude beaches, nudist meetups, walking around your home naked, and also going to clothing-optional bathhouses can all help you out with this.
Remember, getting your groove back is all about perspective.
When you lose confidence, it’s easy to think that it’s all over. However, it’s important to remember that you’re still the same person on the inside. Regaining that spark that makes you feel sexy is all about remembering who you are. And sometimes, all you need is one good experience to make you see that perspective again.